It’s been my experience that there is no shortage of problems in life.  There are plenty of problems to go around …. and around …. and around.…. and around.  You’ve probably noticed this yourself.  

Another thing I’ve noticed in dealing with problems, both personally and professionally, particularly relationship problems, is that when one blames or criticises others for a problem, it makes the problem worse, not better.  It may mask or veil your responsibility in having the problem, but the source is still there. Even when one takes the approach of accelerating or amping up the blaming by more aggressiveness as an attempt to control or dominate the other so the problem will go away….it doesn’t.  Again, it only gets worse, more confused, more frustrating.  Blaming and criticising only adds layers of confuscation to the difficulty one is trying to untangle from.

I find that when one blames and criticises another, more often than not, the other doesn’t turn the other cheek as Jesus suggested so many years ago, but instead rises to the occasion by either running away or fighting as a defence from the attack.
​
Welcome to the military industrial complex and the build up of the arms industry when blaming, finger pointing and making the other wrong finds its way into inter-national political relationships.
I’ve studied, practiced, taught and been inspired by the philosophies, metaphysical practices and personal growth techniques that I learned from Charles Berner.  No doubt, he learned them from others and passed them on.  Now, I’m passing them on to you, if you’re reading this.
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Blessings and Love
Yoah

“In conflict resolution, such as management labor negotiations, they are beginning to learn this. They are learning not only to communicate but also to look for those communications, at most three in number, that haven’t been said. This really helps.  A husband and wife may argue and argue the entire month over something. If either one of them or a third party says,”What is it that isn’t being communicated?  What is it that you are talking around and not saying?” When they find it and say it, the whole quarrel may be settled in seconds. And the other partner says,  “I thought you went out with John and weren’t telling me. That’s what I thought. Thank you for telling me what happened. You must love me a lot to have the confidence to tell me.” And it’s all gone, not another word. 

It’s an amazing phenomena. And it is a fantastic experience to see it happen. The barrier is gone because they have communicated that thing that wasn’t said. It’s one thing to realise that you are the creator of a barrier and another thing to resolve that barrier by the delivery of the communication. This is what you do when you have a use for a barrier: find out what you are trying to say or communicate by having that barrier and then getting it across. If you have to increase your ability to relate to do so, then do so.

In the final analysis, it will always resolve down to what you are trying to tell others about yourself. The ultimate message is you. You are the message. You are what you are trying to present. You are what you were trying to have understood and appreciated.”
(https://www.amazon.com/dp/1533652783)

The following two paragraphs by Charles Berner are excerpted from Chapter 13 of You, God, Love, Life: Self Transformation Principles (https://www.amazon.com/dp/1533652783). It answers the question why help always involves contact with others when you want to effect transformational change in respect to your personal and spiritual growth.  Why can’t you just do it on your own?  Why must help involve others?

“Why is help necessary?  Why do we need each other in order to effect an improvement in our personal lives or in life in general?  If people could improve by themselves it would be very convenient, but it doesn't work.  It is necessary to be in contact with others.  The degree of improvement is proportional to the degree of contact.

Help necessarily involves more than one person and makes sense only in terms of living life with one another. You are perfect and each other individual is perfect too as I have said. Individuals do not need improvement.  You cannot add anything to an uncreated Divine entity.  All the troubles and difficulties that exist are between you and the other person.  This does not mean in the space between bodies in the physical world but between individuals who, as Divine, exist outside of and separate from, the physical world and any concepts of space or time.  It is not easy to relate to others and to communicate deeply to one another.  Yet, that is what we have set out to do.  To reveal ourselves fully to each other.  Many things can go wrong in trying to reach this goal.  Improvement is taking steps toward this goal and therefore necessitates working on and resolving misunderstandings.  Removing the barriers between yourself and others is the only real progress in life, which is why you feel better if you talk to someone and tell them what is on your mind.  It is impossible to reach a better understanding with someone unless you deal directly with him.  Improvement consists of getting this increased understanding.  Any action which does this is help. No matter what the problem is, whether it is lack of money, inability, poor health, unhappiness, or war.  Working it out is going to involve the co-operation and assistance of another individual.”       From Chapter 13    Help: Why Help is Necessary

All of us have been on both sides: giving help and receiving help.  If you need help, ever received help or if you are in the helping professions,  I think you’ll find the following comments helpful and insightful.

   "Now that you have read all the chapters on help, read them once again.  You will much better appreciate the proceeding chapters.

   I mentioned earlier that people often have to be in desperate straits and awful conditions before they will receive help.  I have a self enquiry technique to help you get over that.   It  goes, "Tell me what condition you have to be in in order to be helped."  Do this technique until you get over having to be in conditions to be helped.  You can just be helped.  You don't have to be broke. You don't have to be sick.  You don't have to be having a tremendous emotional upset.  The best time to be helped is when you are feeling emotionally good and physically healthy.  Your greatest benefit will happen in a helping situation when you are in good health.  This technique will get you over all the idiot conditions you have created or set upon yourself about receiving help. This exercise will have you self reflect and communicate these conditions to another. These conditions then become part of your consciousness rather than remaining part of your unconscious mind which influences your behaviour in unconscious, automatic ways.  Some of the conditions people have are very subtle.    A condition such as, “My parents would have to say okay.”  They hold this thought condition even though their parents never ever told them that.  It's just something that they created. It has to be socially acceptable to be helped in that particular manner.  It has to be somebody you trust.  It has to be the best in the field.  That's a common one.  "I'm on the verge of death, but I can only receive heart surgery from Dr. So-and-so, the world famous heart surgeon.  I cannot receive help from anyone else."

   I personally could receive effective help from anyone because my conditions are almost none.  I'd follow what you told me and I'd get something out of it.  No matter what it was.  If you tell me to run in place and build up my endurance, I would run in place and build up my endurance. Your ability to receive help is very important in self improvement activities.  I advise you to take  into consideration the points that I have given you here.

   Lastly, remember that help never really takes place. What takes place is communication, understanding and increased consciousness of each other as Divine.  Help implies that someone else is doing something for you.  Help is really a disguised word for a brand of communication that is followed by an increase in the ability you manifest in life; in your relationships.  Relating is the truth; help is an illusion.  Though help is an illusion or apparency, that doesn't make it bad.  It's just that it isn't what people think it is.  It is kind of an overlay concept that implies that someone has done something for you.  But the truth is that no one can do anything for you.  You can relate with them  and they with you and that passes for help.  Really it’s your relationships that are improving."

​You, God, Love, Life: Self Transformation Principles, Charles Berner.
Now available on Amazon Books, https://www.amazon.com/dp/1533652783

You, God, Love, Life: Principles of Self Transformation first began its life as a self development program that Charles Berner put together in the 1960’s and 70’s. It was created from a collection of talks, essays, study questions, exercises and meditations that Berner organised into a program of sequential lessons for improving the life skills and spiritual development of his students. He called the program The Fundamentals of Life.

This book essentially is that program edited into this published format. Berner begins by telling the readers that the ideas and practices he will be presenting will be “a voyage of discovery about yourself and life. You will find it the most exciting and rewarding voyage you have ever taken." Berner suggests that it is best to not “become too serious" but to investigate with sincerity. Berner never demanded a blind faith in respect to his teachings. He always counselled and encouraged self reflection and personal direct experience rather than following a belief system, philosophy or religion. “In my teachings I do not ask for belief nor do I recommend it. In fact I discourage it,” he writes. “Either a person knows something and is sure of it or not. Teachings do not function properly when they rest on a foundation of belief. Teachings function properly only when they rest on a foundation of understanding. I want you to understand what I am teaching and have it make sense to you.”

This current volume is organised into twenty eight chapters divided into five main sections: Theology, Life, Help, Communication, Problems. Theology is the first section. Berner explores the idea of what God is and the evolution of those ideas. He acknowledges at the start that the “primary, number one idea at the core” of the entire book is that “You are Divine.” Berner isn’t content with simply making that statement but goes on to explain what he means theologically, spiritually and in practical terms with respect to what your are and your relationship to the divine. He writes that your basic nature and God’s nature are the very same: “One, that you are conscious…” “Two, that you have free will…” And three, ”that your basic nature is spiritual…”

​Berner brings each chapter to a completion with a set of study questions that highlight the principles of that particular chapter. For example here are a couple of study questions in section one: “What things did primitive man worship as God?” Or “How can you be Divine if everything is not perfect in your life?” Additionally Berner usually includes several active self reflective exercises or meditations to help you master the principals of that chapter. For example: “For one minute think of what God is. Write your observations in your journal.” Or, “Get the idea that others exist. Write your observations in your journal.” “Now get the idea that others do not exist. Write your observations in your journal.”​

2017 New Year's Eve Enlightenment Intensive
6.5 Days or 4.5 Days 
30 Dec 2016 - 5 Jan 2017
Adelaide Hills, South Australia
​

EARLY BIRD DISCOUNT
30 October deposit

​Dear Friends of Enlightenment,
I invite you to celebrate with me the Awakening of Love, Presence, Clarity and Direct Knowing of Self.
 
If you have an interest in knowing who you really are, 
If you have an interest in the Yoga of Enlightenment,
If you have an interest in the transformational journey from isolated self to Unity Consciousness,
Then you would appreciate and value the Enlightenment Intensive retreat.  
 
At the  Enlightenment Intensive retreat you are encouraged and inspired to go beyond the realm of limited perceptual knowledge and venture into the mode of transformational consciousness or direct knowing.  This is the place where the realm of duality is dissolved.  Where the perceiver and the perceived become one.  Where the knower, the known and the knowing dissolve into Union Consciousness.  This is the place where separation ceases to exist.  This is the home of No Mind and Non-Duality.
 
You can take advantage of the biggest Early Bird Discount for the 2017 New Year Enlightenment Intensive by choosing to participate and making a $250 deposit by 30 October.  
If you would like more information check out my web site or contact me.
 
[email protected]
http://www.enlightenmentintensive.com.au
 
much love
Yoah

Here’s some helpful links to books, audio and video for more inspiration and information.
 
Knowing Your Self: 100 Self Awareness Exercises 
by Yoah Wexler, PhD
http://www.amazon.com/dp/1490339434
 
Enlightenment and the Enlightenment Intensive (Volume 1), 
by Charles Berner; edited and compiled by Yoah Wexler, PhD
http://www.amazon.com/dp/1492267546
 
Enlightenment and the Enlightenment Intensive (Volume 2) 
by Charles Berner; edited and compiled by Yoah Wexler, PhD
http://www.amazon.com/dp/1492263281
 
Relating and Spiritual Consciousness: Communication, Love and Relating Dyads 
by Charles Berner; edited and compiled by Yoah Wexler, PhD
http://www.amazon.com/dp/1518696287
 
You, God, Love, Life: Self Transformation Principles  (to be published 15 July 2016)
by Charles Berner; edited and compiled by Yoah Wexler, PhD
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1533652783
 
Go To The Edges
by Joseph Rubano
https://www.amazon.com/Go-Edges-Joseph-Rubano/dp/B01E680RSQ?
 
You Tube Channel
https://www.facebook.com/yoah.wexler
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